An x-ray at 0530 is not my usual start to a Wednesday but this was not a usual Wednesday for me but for everyone else it all seemed as normal as normal can be. At this time I was under the impression that I had a viral infection for which doing nothing but waiting for it to pass is recommended.
I'm not really conscious of many details about the x-Ray but I do know that my next recollection is of a bloods lady asking me for my dob prior to relieving my elbow of a few more vials of blood. It was daylight and there were windows. I was on another ward, Lime.
I was next awoken by quite a crowd gathered about me. It seems that I was uncommonly yellow and my bloods were extremely deranged but there was no evidence of anything viral, so the tall, smart gentleman said. Your liver is functioning, though, he said so it'll be a blockage, probably a small stone. Are you in any pain? No. Have you had any pain in recent days? No. You'll be having an ultrasound scan shortly so we can see where the blockage is. OK? Thank you.
A nurse came over and offered me coffee and told me my scan would be imminent as afternoons are mostly for pregnant ladies. The coffee was welcome. It would be churlish to mention that it probably hadn't been anywhere near a bean since it was sprayed against a rotating drum with a surface temperature in excess of 200°C, that being the temperature that turns coffee sprayed at high pressure into grains of solid soluble coffee. Instantly formed, instantly dissolved, instantly forgettable but by far the best cup of coffee I'd had in what felt like ages.
The expected porters failed to materialise at the time expected but I had nothing else to do and they probably did. At this time I didn't associate their non appearance to the sounds of activity and the distant ringing of alarms. Once the part of the hospital which had been evacuated had determined that the threat was either accidental or otherwise unnecessary I was told to expect my scan early in the afternoon.
Thus, visiting time had hardly had time for pleasantries, more importantly for the handover of radio, iPod and earphones before the porters arrived to wheel me away.
The porter was hugely amused as he weaved his way around the ranks of pregnant ladies and into the room for me to be scanned. The process was fine albeit with even more acreage over which to spread the jelly than even a heavily pregnant lady would require. The scan provided a huge surprise for me and once completed I was wheeled outside and left amid rows of ladies looking at me until a porter arrived which wasn't very long. I think I'd have walked back to the ward but I didn't have a clue how to get there.
Visiting time was resumed, my yellowness noted, a drip replenished and music of my choice enjoyed.
The following morning the team gathered again. No obvious blockage so it must be something else, I was told. The blood lady was waiting for their departure which was odd as she'd only taken a fair drop shortly before the bedside team meeting. This time I clearly saw the laptop which shows my details and a spreadsheet of bloods required, usually three or four. This time there were pages and vials in abundance.
Before she had left a lovely lady doctor who had been a member of the team arrived. Held my hand and explained that whatever it was, however small they would find it. It was when she told me not to worry that I had a wispy stain of an idea turn into something more smoky.
She also told me that tomorrow, Friday, I would have an MRI scan and I'd be moved to another ward. The MRI was an experience and I was moved to Oak ward.
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