Fit enough for purpose

Thus a week or so later the car was fired up before dawn for the "final" trip pre op 50 miles down the road. Arriving in the gloom I was decanted at the entrance shortly before 0700 and left in the coffee shop whilst the car was parked. Didn't fancy coffee but I think I had one just to use the seat with a clear conscience.

Before 0730 we had made our way to the ward where the appointment awaited. In the waiting room a large TV on the wall flashed up colourful BBC subtitles. It took only a few moments to remember how awful the BBC has become. I stopped watching the news last autumn and more recently gave up on R4 flagship news programmes. It seems that reporting has gone by the board, now it's all about the agenda of the reporter and their worldview. Frankly, I think that the BBC should be a subscription service and if they don't know what to do with the license fee they can donate it to the NHS but I despise the Corporation and it's fat cat mentality. If you can't do anything meaningful in your life join the BBC get £150k salary and more if you fail in your duties and get sacked. Lord Reiths charter needs tattooing in every senior managers forehead so that when sat in meetings those listening can see what it's meant to be about.

Fortunately, before a photo of Tony Blair wound me up further a name familiar was called. We were led into a room with a tall green clad thin man getting up from a desk and looking me over. When skinny people look at you it's not too difficult to read their minds and so it was. He explained that I was there to assess my suitability for the Whipples Procedure, then a week away. A few questions later he asked if I could manage to get on the exercise bike but added that I shouldn't worry if I couldn't as there were other ways of making an assesment. I offered the opinion that I could only ride his bike if the saddle was higher, the handle bars further forward and lower. He looked very politely taken aback as I continued letting him know that when my wife bought my Specialized hydraulic disk braked wonder I was measured to fit.

The bike was duly configured to make it comfortable and I was wired, front and rear, masked, nose clipped and told not to talk, just to follow instructions. Pedal at 60-70 cadence, if you can. I could and did. Now you will feel like you're going uphill keep the pedalling constant, please. I'm still waiting for the hill but the maintenance of the cadence was only what I always do.

Of course, going uphill on an exercise bike does not involve the vertical lifting of any bulk bar the legs so it's nothing like going uphill at all. He kept making pleasantly surprised noises until after about 10 minutes he asked how long I could keep this up. Two hours, more if it's sunny I said. OK, slow down but don't stop till this number gets to 0 he said pointing to the corner of one of the flatscreens.

I didn't break sweat and I think he was impressed because for the next 10 minutes he pointed out graphs, numbers, charts and tables. VO/VO2 is important, as is the crossover whenever you go anaerobic/aerobic ........

Eventually, realising I was lost he said that I had the heart of an ox and no furring of arteries. The lungs were good, too, not perfect but for a 61 year old fat bloke they were more than the expected average. Espressos every morning and cycling on sunny days I explained. He reduced my risk of complications from 30-40% to 12-15% and mortality risk from a very low number to a lower one. This means that you probably won't need ICU post op but can go onto a surgical ward. Much better from our point of view  he said.

I did feel chuffed and he then spoke to a nurse who fast tracked us through the inevitable blood tests, swabs, and myriad other details and we left with 6 300ml bottles labelled Carbohydrate Lemon for ingestion immediately before the op, 4 during the evening prior, one as we left on the morning and the last one when we got to hospital at 0700.
By 1100 we were home.

The last of the really good days for a month or more had passed but we didn't know it.