A tale of two days

It was the best of days followed by the day that wasn't. Both began at the same time and with the same breakfast.

The capsules are the Creon, taken for life every time eating or drinking anything but watery stuff, the pink ones are the Chemos and the little white one?

Seems that's the interesting one but I only get to take them twice a day for the two  days after the chemo infusion.

Steroids, the said. My Google proficient wife said "like heroin".

Tuesday's  breakfast was downed efficiently and immediately an explosion of energy enthused it's way through my very being. I could not sit still and do nothing. So great was my exuberance that when I suggested a pedal to see some river water my minder declined to accompany me. Was I finally trusted to go it alone or did the squeezing of blackfly on the beans represent a more sensible future investment?

A mile or two away is this rather nice spot with cyclist friendly seats, in this case already occupied. I didn't want to hang about as I was free to carry on without consultation, requests that we rest a while, that we're not in a hurry, that taking our time is good were absent. My freedom was bought at the cost of the little blackflies lives.

I did nearly five miles in half an hour or so and got home without breaking sweat. I felt excellent. Last time I did this a week ago I was totally wrecked and sweating like a pig. More caffeine to celebrate.

A phone call from a friend, tea and more caffeine and then he took me to a boat house that once occupied a large part of my life but to which I've not been in some years. For a while the man who actually does the work there is a great friend so yet more caffeine and the whole world righted in no time.

Within an hour a wall of tiredness reared up before me suddenly insurmountable. Home in the comfort of 300hp of turboed 4x4 luxury. Not a Jazz, then!

Caffeine to take another white pill and hyper activity was soon restored. I accompanied the 25hp fwd Jazz to the industrial plot where four new tyres were fitted. Whilst in the vicinity a pair of multitools were purchased, one for each bike and across the road a tube of Polyfilla extra fine plaster filler was purchased.

Once home the multitools were immediately stowed in their appropriate stowages and a fingerfull of filler was delicately pressed into a gap in the bathroom tiles which had lifted slightly when the new windows were fitted before Christmas. It's only every other room in the house with windows or doors that needs painting now.

Thoughts turned to a visit to a decent tool supplier 25 miles away but we have been meaning to visit a grand old lady who used to live down the road but has moved 25 miles in the opposite direction to be near her daughter so we phoned and visited her. It was the loveliest thing to do, and she was a joy to visit as always.

The trip back found thoughts straying to visits further afield to family South West, east and North and then west. These felt eminently doable for the first time in many months.

Home and Carbonarra for tea and very excellent it was. Digestive biscuits and a spoonful of Angel Delight for milkiness at the appropriate time for pink chemo pills and the hyper brain was still not finished. An hour or two of serious reading and listening wasn't enough. In fact I was far too alert at 0200 but shortly after I was not.

This Wednesday morning the early coffee was provided as usual and the proscribed breakfast at the proscribed time was taken. I was looking forward to the hyper hit and planning the drizzly cycle ride as the Rice Krispies snapped, crackled and popped.

Unfortunately before the bowl was empty I was aware that today was different. Within 15 minutes I was struggling to get up the stairs. Once back in bed my Google proficient wife had laid bare the secrets of the little white pill. Like heroin, she offered. A serious steroid to stop you feeling nauseous, to put off the extent of the post chemo tiredness. It takes you up but everything that goes up comes down. They can make you irritable and cantankerous, too.

I was so glad to hear the latter as I thought that having so long to examine road junctions closely over an extended period of time whilst waiting and being able to read the names of the makers of brake callipers on the cars overtaking us was normal. I'm so relieved that my comments yesterday were drug induced otherwise I may have felt that an expression of sorrow was called for.

Today was the come down. It's like my brain was alternating between mush and fully alert but the rest of me seemed to be displaying not under command marks. An hour or two inert before eventually getting up again and I was conscious of a very much heightened sense of smell, even the normally unnoticed soap was pungent, the smells rising from the cooking taking place downstairs were clearly identifiable. It took half an hour to do what would normally occupy ten minutes of my time. Slow time was engaged although I felt it was as normal. I could do no more.

The whole situation in which I felt so unsure, so precarious and so unsettling came to a head when I found myself totally unable to operate the Gaggia. I had neither the strength nor the coordination to remove and fill the portafilter. Time to sit and let my carer make coffee her way.

Fortunately my friend, consultant philosopher adviser, the one and only Melvin who has been here far too many times phoned. His opening gambit was, you had a good day yesterday, then and now you feel like the proverbial. Yes. He's always spot on, not only with his advice wrought from 40 years experience of his own cancers but he has the gift of always phoning when you are most in need. I don't believe in coincidences, either.

The strangeness continued all day. Very wobbly at times, possibly hallucinating whilst lying down this morning. Crashed out this afternoon. Listening to familiar tunes rather listlessly tonight yet my brain is composing this stuff way faster than I can address the correct virtual key. Mostly I miss but Android self correct is working overtime tonight.

This has been a most strange day, totally unexpected and one wonders why in all the consultations over recent weeks no one mentioned this little white pill. On a positive note it must be said that if it was designed to stop me feeling nauseous it has been a complete success.

In fact I think that it may have been Tuesday that was strange and today was more normal than I realise. I guess we'll find out tomorrow as there's no more little white pills till after the next infusion on Tuesday.

Tomorrow may be here sooner than I think, it's 2215 and I feel wired from the neck up. The rest of me is content to sit here reclined comfotably in the company of The Waterboys.