A seat both ways!

Today we braved the buses, again.

Old bus home, Marsa.

Malta buses are interesting. The old ones are in a warehouse in Marsa shipyard where they wait in premature retirement, killed off by EU emissions regulations. How stupid can you get! If they ran them all non stop for another century they wouldn't do as much atmospheric damage as the southern California gas leak does each week. Get us out of this EU nonsense. Sorry, UK not Malta, unless they come to their senses, too.

So, Arriva bought all the old routes from the families whose buses had plied them for generations. Modern buses, more fuel efficient allegedly, and even some of Boris's bendy buses. The bendy buses broke for obvious reasons and Arriva went bust after €70,000,000 had been poured into EU coffers one way or another. Step up Malta Public Transport!

186 new buses. 540 drivers, inspectors and time keepers. I made the last one up although there do seem to be a lot of clipboards sitting about on OAP seats in company branded clothes doing not a lot except getting off frequently for a fag break and then getting on a bus going back from whence they've just come.

Today they have removed all the new timetables from the bus stops. Drivers are a bit touchy if you ask them about times, routes and ETA's. Just get on, hold tight and hope.

It's not entirely the buses fault. The roads are not good, apart from the east coast road, part paid for by EU so the signs say, I'm surprised that the Spanish left enough in the EU's kitty for anything, and another bit of road from outside Hamrun almost to Mdina. The rest are amazing. One, in particular, from Zetjun to Bulebel, was once a dual carriageway with a nice tree lined central reservation. The central reservation is now a car park and the road surface undulates and resembles a ploughed field with potholes that could double as reservoirs if there was ever enough rain to fill them.

The traffic slowly meanders it's way along between the roundabouts at each end avoiding the potholes which if you were in a Fiat Marbella could be the last place you ever went and trying to keep on the ridges or the ruts, you choose but if you change your mind the twisting moments cause the bus to grind and graunch which if it coincides with falling into a pothole, which invariably it does is a pretty major event and felt by every bone in your body. But today we had seats.

If you don't have seats, and as each bus has a sticker to let you know that there are 25 seats but room for 47 to stand, it is likely that you won't, a bus trip becomes an event that would be a challenge for Sir Rannulph Feinnes. For us lesser mortals it's a case of survival tactics. I have found that behind the front door, wedged against a luggage rack only bruises your butt and thighs but rips either a shoulder out or crushes an elbow. As more enter and the driver cries, "move back, please, there's plenty of room at the back" you can ease behind the door, lean left and new passengers pass by you. As the door closes the supporting pole on which it swings can help you back upright. Till the next bus stop. If you are left in the central area, tough. Although I did, on one occasion, let myself be supported by the masses around me which was fine right up till the driver hit the brakes as a van pulled out right in front of him and stopped.

Which is the other reason why bus travel here is an experience. The standard of driving exhibited is amazing. If I described it you'd say I was making it up. This is the first time I've ever been in a place where I'd love to hire a car and explore and €15 would get you a car for a day but nothing could convince me that I could drive here safely.

There are three sorts of cars here, shiny ones that are either just out of the showroom or bodyshop, dusty ones with shiny panel damage and dusty ones with panel damage covered in dust.

Today we had seats because we left late and came back early. It was too hot and the trip back to Valletta was in an airconned bus. From Valletta to Sliema we got seats at the back so there was no where else to go till we got off.

If this is your view as you dine it'll cost you €20 each.

This view for under €5 each inc drinks .

Oh, and we went to Marsaxlokk, again. Beautiful place. Wonderful harbour. Working boats. Some with trammel nets, some with trolling lines and some working long lines. Slight misunderstanding about time, said too much already.

Highly recommend "The Rising Sun" over by the working boats. Bacon roll with salady stuff, sandwich with something lovely in it, big bowl of chips, bitter lemon and pint of Cisk, €8.40. €20 each by the pretty boats wouldn't buy you a belly full. And it's where the coaches disgorge their passengers.

Look to see where the locals go is a good guide to anywhere but in fishing harbours especially so. You probably wouldn't go there if you were smartly attired and self conscious. You'd be like the smart people passing by taking our photos as we dined under the sunshade listening to the Malti banter and enjoying the ambiance. It felt foreign but strangely familiar. Loved it. Absolutely loved it.

It was too hot though. But oh, so lovely to be beside the sea in a working harbour all but overcome with the smell of fresh fish, not fresh fish previously cleaned out of the net, weed, drying nets and salt stained blokes overhauling gear. I had a wonderfully wonderful time.

Apparently we're not going back this year.