Paul. February 1st 2018

Good afternoon all,
So having just had round 2 of the latest batch of treatment I thought it was probably a good time to put a quick little update together for you all.
The effects of the chemo last week were interesting, Thursday immediately after the treatment was a case of sleep all afternoon and most of the evening, generally not feeling too bad. Then Friday arrived. Friday was, well, not good. At all. Worst day I’ve had thus far I would say, really not pleasant effects and I was out of it for much of the day. After that however it was back to a bit of good day / bad routine where the bad days were largely defined by exhaustion and sleep and the good days with much less tiredness. Both good and bad had a distinct lack of a chemo-y feel about them though which was a very well received change, tiredness on its own isn’t such a bad thing after all.
The slight trouble with that was that it wasn’t entirely just tiredness on its own. Somewhere along the road I’ve picked up a cold (I blame Boaz personally  ) and that is starting to wreak some havoc – don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting to be back in hospital again with it but it’s causing far more issues than the chemo is at this point, preventing sleep and so on. Delightful. Because the chemo knocks out the immune system even mild colds can prove rather unpleasant and this one has been hanging around for weeks now. If those of you inclined to pray could do just that and ask that this cold would clear out of my system soon I would greatly appreciate it – even being told that I could have basic cough lozenge things today was a big relief (you’ve got to be so careful what other drugs you have when you’re on chemo, bonkers) so at least that should lighten things a little, would be good to get shot of it though.
So all in all, I’m not really sure what this week will bring. I’m not feeling the swell of exhaustion which brought on last Thursday’s afternoon sleep so maybe things will be a little mellower this week, we’ll see. The big ask with this new treatment is that I would actually improve, that my quality of life would increase and that the cancer wouldn’t just be stopped but that it would start to reduce a little. We know the treatment cannot cure it but it has reduced the spread in other patients which is what we’re aiming for (I think! My memory is not something to envy and my PA is absent…!).
Having said all that, this week has been a little…tricky. The cold has been probably significantly more problematic than I made out above, the tiredness has been pretty extreme and combine it with the ever present effects of cancer/chemo and things have been hard. However, one verse in particular has really helped provide a little perspective on things:
2 Corinthians 4:17 – For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that outweighs them and will last forever!
I know that God is using this period of my life to do amazing things, to encourage people, to show off how great he is, to reach people with a message of hope even in the darkest places who have never heard such things before – but it is solid because I don’t see it most of the time, I’m perplexed and sometimes overwhelmed by the now. It’s good to be reminded that as a Christian I know that one day God will call time on my life, these things won’t last long (genuinely, what’s a few months in the grand scheme of things?) but the results of them – they’ll last for ever! God has a plan and he’s working it out. He loves people and somehow, I don’t know how, he’s using cancer, 3 different types of chemo and some cough sweets (amongst one or two other things I’d imagine!) to reach out and encourage, save, build up and help people through what he’s doing in me.
Mind. Blown.
It’s quite something to know even the darkest paths Christian’s walk have purpose that God is using for the good of his people. It’s been a tough week but truths like this really, really, help.